advice for moving for love

Things I’ve Learnt Since Moving Across the Globe

Everyone tried to prepare me. The countless times people kept reiterating to me that I’d “feel unsettled for a while” but that I’d just have to “ride it out and have faith that it’ll get better”, I’d simply brushed off with an arrogant “I know”. But now that I’m living it, I didn’t quite realise how right their advice was. Packing up and moving your life halfway across the globe is never a small thing, no matter how you justify it to yourself or talk it down so you don’t freak yourself out. It’s a big deal. It’s a lot of sacrifice and it’s a lot of adjusting – for all parties involved. But it’s also one of the best things you can do because you open yourself up to a whole new adventure… and if (like me) you move for love, it’s a great new adventure you get to share with someone special.

So I’m two weeks in and what have I learnt so far? Check it out below

moving for love feeling emotional

Emotions run high
One moment you can be laughing with your significant other, the next – the smallest thing that reminds you of home can have you welling up. For me it was on a Sunday morning and I suddenly craved a brunch session of day-drinking and chatting shit with my buddies. I held it together pretty well for a few minutes, then I spotted a vintage black & white photograph of Queens Road Central and fucking lost it. Cue 30 minutes and copious cuddles later – I was smiling and joking around again. PMS ain’t got nothing on the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been riding.

moving for love feeling crazy

You can easily go stir-crazy
I cannot stress enough to have some form of work sorted or at least have some semblance of a plan/interviews/meetings in place. Luckily I’ve still been working remotely so the day-to-day is taken up with work which is a healthy distraction but even working from home has got me metaphorically tearing my hair out. The staying-in-twiddling-your-thumbs routine is the enemy. When you go to a new place, you need to put yourself out there and experience it. Staying in all the time will only kill your vibe and drive you crazy.

Moving for love Excitement

You get a renewed sense of excitement and wonder
Everything is fresh and everything is new. You get to have new adventures, meet new people, see new sights and have new experiences! Trust me – even grocery shopping has me all excited! “You mean I can buy all the cheese I want and it won’t cost me the equivalent of 10% of my monthly rent?!”

Moving for love after Living Alone

You’re going to miss your single-living-habits
For me it’s definitely picking from the fridge, binge-drinking peppermint tea, re-watching cheesy 90s & 00s chick flicks and indulging my partially-introverted nature by not speaking to anyone for hours on end (bliss). That being said, luckily I’ve found someone who is as much a kitchen thief as me and understands my need for occasional isolation. As for the film addiction – that’s what earphones were invented for.

moving for love communication

Communication is crucial
Especially for my current situation where I’m living with my partner for the first time. Having only ever had university flatmates previously, my relocation came with other pretty big changes. There are moments we both have to adjust and compromise, there have been moments when I’m frustrated he can’t read my mind and moments when he thinks I’m being a passive-aggressive little shit (I wasn’t). But at the end of the day, you gotta talk it out. From the most seemingly minor niggles to the really good stuff – communication is key. (Note to self – men cannot read our minds ergo we really shouldn’t be expecting it).

moving for love best friend

Realistically speaking, it’s never going to be all sunshine and rainbows. There are moments of frustration and plenty of emotions flying all over the place as you figure out what it’s like to live with each other and how to best compliment each other. But that being said, it can also be incredibly rewarding and make you happier than you ever though possible. So – “hang in there and have faith that it’s going to be rocky and you’ll feel unsettled to begin with but it’ll all get better as time goes on.”

Vanessa signature

 

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3 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learnt Since Moving Across the Globe

  1. Uncle Steve of course says:

    Adult loving relationships are all about consideration, kindness & compromise. Without honest communication & open listening by both of you it won’t work. Keep listening, keep talking, keep at it xxx (no deformed puppies either) – a mongrel loving relative

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